On the occasion of becoming by most standard middle aged, I dredged up come family history (rather than relive my cancer moments of two years ago, March was a horrible month I recall where I almost broke).

It seems odd that in this very month my grandfather was in this very area, and in fact this very city, transporting troops across the Med. A few months later, about to transport 'French' North African troops to liberate France, he was almost killed in a bombing incident. A naval officer with long colonial service, indeed I understand my father and grandmother barely knew the man, whose penchant for dusky women and strange ports of call in 'The Colonies' was apparently well known and a major strain. As was his unpleasant and prickly nature. For better or worse, all who know him state I seem to be him part II. Except of course for his fundamental racism, but it was the colonial era, and despite a reputation for unpleasantness that his own journal captures - at least he was honest and open - he gives the impression of being operationally fair minded. Although a story related in his journal was that once inspecting bomb damage he slipped overboard at night, and went under, at which point the crew cried that the chief engineer was over and lost, his notes recounts him hearing someone say, 'Good I hope he bloody drowns.'" Or something to that effect.

Regardless, growing up with those pictures of those fine colonial era stiff necked uniforms which he wore, this once young lad was seduced by the long history of "service." No more Euro colonies now, and thank God racialism is a fading force. But when I look at the old man's photo, and think how he died, I find myself thinking, if I can do so well - although perhaps I should not want to go out exactly like him with a nasty tropical disease in a port-of-call and perhaps having left cousins here and there. All in the service of ... what? While the naval service and its service to State Interest, etc.

Queer for a demi francophone as I am, that the man left such resolutely anti French comments, but then he dealt with the just turned Vichy pieds noirs and the Giraud administration in this town, so.... But then there is the long anti-French tradition to admit, despite two world wars together. He was, at this time, my present age. Queer, more th