"By bad luck if this is fucked up - if I fuck up - I can take the firm down and a lot of people lose with me."

You make this sound like a bad thing. You're finally an official BSD. Congratulations!

Well, I suppose one can look at it that way. However, what weights on the mind is the exogenous variables that one can not control, but I now end still being responsible for.

Goodness, what a Negative Nellie you are today. Turn that frown upside down, Sunshine!

Has it occurred to you that the "exogenous variables that you cannot control" cuts both ways? True, you may now well take the heat when things beyond your control go bad but you will also reap the credit when things go great even if you had nothing to do with it.

This is not an uncommon theme in the financial world. I've seen several instances where very good, smart people who understand both their own capabilities and the markets go nowhere while some almost-literal moron who is too stupid to understand the risks prospers. These people loudly champion dumb, risky projects that they don't understand and then reap the windfall when lightning strikes. Everyone thinks they're a genius because they backed something that other people -- who actually understood what they were doing -- were leery of. But drawing to a two-card flush doesn't mean you're smart -- quite the opposite.

Of course, the vast majority of these types do get shot down but there are just so many. There is a good argument to be made that the entire sub-prime mortgage mess comes down to this.

Anyway, from your perspective, your elevation couldn't come at a better time. No one expects anything. All you have to do is survive. Then, when the rising tide eventually comes along to lift all yachts, you can take the credit.